Saturday, April 23, 2011
A reader wants to know how she can help her tween develop his stunted social skills without seeming like a nag.
Dear Luci, My preteen son (almost teen) is a pretty good kid. He gets good grades, generally does what he is told, is kind and empathetic; however, I have one major problem - he has no social skills. He is friendly with our immediate family and his close friends, but he is extremely shy, which comes off to me as rude to others. If not in a completely comfortable situation, his demeanor is uncomfortable and his facial expression is unfriendly. He expects others to approach him to hang out or talk to, but I explained to him that the way that he carries himself is not welcoming. He rides with the neighbor to school in the morning and barely speaks a word. I am extremely embarrassed by his behavior and I feel that he acts like a little boy. …
Monday, April 4, 2011
Luci talks to a reader about planning for their financial future.
Dear Luci, The hubby and I have been talking about finances, investing, etc. We each have 401ks for retirement, and a several month "safety net" for now, but it's a daunting task to start deciding what to do with savings. Should we try on our own? Put in back into fixing up the house? Interview financial advisors? We're not sure where to start. Sincerely, Saving in Southampton Dear Saving, No matter how much they make, most of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. Yet you and your husband have somehow managed to get ahead. Nice work! Now let me say this. I am not a financial expert. However, I will gladly share what I have learned from the so called “wealthy folks,” and my favorite financial guru, Dave Ramsey. Before you start any …
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Ever wondered what to do about the annoying guy in the next cubicle? Luci helps one reader figure it out.
Dear Luci, I have a problem with one of my coworkers and I do not know how to handle it. He comes in late everyday, yells over the cubicles and leaves Chinese food in the refrigerator for weeks at a time. Last week he asked if I had a stamp for him to borrow, then he took the entire book. I want to say something to him, but I don’t want to ruffle any feathers. What can I do to make this guy more considerate of others? Bullied in Bristol Dear Bullied, It sounds like you have some resentment towards your colleague, and resentment often leads to anger. Many cognitive behaviorists say there is a simple solution to the problems that anger us. The theory is that when a particular event occurs, the reaction we have depends on how we …
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Luci examines some simple ways to make the daunting task of choosing the right school for your child a little less stressful.
Dear Luci, We are looking to move into the area. I have a child who will be going to school next year. I hear a lot of different opinions about the various school systems. How can I get information I can trust on the different schools? We are not limiting our daughter to only public schools, we also want to look at private ones. Any help would be appreciated. Needs Schooling on Schools Dear Needs Schooling, The first thing you need to consider when choosing a school is your child. You want to look into schools that will offer a curriculum that fits her and supports her needs. Good districts offer comprehensive programs that support their students, socially, academically and emotionally throughout their school career. With all that being …
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
A reader who recently lost his job ponders tackling a new career path, but has some questions about the process.
Help! I am in my mid-30's and recently lost my job. I am thinking about switching careers. I don't know what I want to do. Where do I start? How can I figure out what I would like to do and what I would be good at? Soul Searching in Solebury Dear Searching, Believe it or not, losing your job could be good news. Many successful people say that getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to them. It forced them to take a long hard look at themselves and their aspirations. With that being said, know that you are not alone. Many Americans are considering a new career path. The good news is you have choices and lots of them. However, taking the leap into a new career isn't always easy. Here are a few suggestions: First, make a …
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
A mother questions her role in the parenting style of her children, living with their children under her roof.
Hi Luci, What do you do when you have two adult daughters living with you and their two children age 3 and 5? Each mom has their own opinion on how to raise the boys and it is very difficult. Any suggestions? -Kitty Dear Kitty, The way you need to look at this situation really depends on your concerns. Are you upset that you have two adult children living in your house, or do you enjoy having the family together? There is no rule that says offspring have to move out by a certain age. In fact, it is becoming more common for college students to move back home due to unemployment. However, they do live in your house. That gives you the right to create rules and set boundaries. If you disagree with the way your grandchildren are being …
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Struggling with a problem or issue and need a new perspective? Luci is here to help.
Times are tough. The economy’s in the toilet, people are losing their jobs and this winter weather is enough to make you want to hibernate until the daffodils bloom. You're juggling everything from relationships to work, babies to beauty and it isn't easy. Sometimes even the little questions can be overwhelming. You don't need to go it alone. If you're having relationship, career, financial or family issues, or if you simply have a question about what to wear for the next Nor’easter, write to me at PatchAskLuci@gmail.com. No question or problem is too silly or small, I promise. Look for my column twice a week. I'll be answering e-mails and offering readers a fresh perspective on their problems. Remember, if you are struggling with an …
Janet Giler
1:41 pm on Monday, April 25, 2011
I agree this is great advice but some children actually do not pick up on the social cues that are given to them. IT is as though they haved missed social skills 101. I wrote my book Socially ADDept to help children in this category as it breaks down social skills into incremental parts. While specifically focued on children with adhd, ld or asperger's (children whose issues might be more extreme… more ›